Jokes!

[Shiyonasan]

Anybody know any good jokes? Good ones...bad ones...whatever they are, go ahead and share them here. Just remember not to share jokes that the admins and mods would not want to see.

I'm mainly in the bad joke/pun department when it comes to jokes. Here are two of mine:

I was going to share a joke about a roof, but it might have gone over your heads.

I was also going to share a joke about taking tests, but it was subject to fail.

[Astro Forever]

You might have seen it elsewhere, but I've only discovered it recently.

Give 100% at work. 10% on Monday, 25% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday.

I have a feeling it's pretty low on Friday afternoon.

[Anime Girl]

Why do seagulls fly above the sea? Because if they flew above the bay they would be bay-gulls!

[Big Astro Fan]

Have you ever been told that two wrongs don't make a right? Well they don't.










But three lefts do. lol lol

[Shiyonasan]

Great ones, guys!

I'll go ahead and share another one (you guys have probably heard this one before):

What do you call a cow with no legs?



Answer: Ground beef!

[Ellen Deeze]

What do you call a tall skinny loud obnoxious (ahem) waste of skin?.......









.......Tamara!!!

!!! (giggles)

[Anime Girl]

First of all, I know you don't like Tamara, but please don't use the joke thread to insult her. We would like to hear jokes, not insults.

Second of all, what do you get when you cross a shark and a porcupine? Simple, you get as far away as possable.

[Ellen Deeze]

First of all, I know you don't like Tamara, but please don't use the joke thread to insult her. We would like to hear jokes, not insults.

(ahem!)

Looks like you might know better than me, show off!

[Anime Girl]

[QUOTE=Anime Girl 16;202377]First of all, I know you don't like Tamara, but please don't use the joke thread to insult her. We would like to hear jokes, not insults.

(ahem!)

Looks like you might know better than me, show off! [/QUOTE]

Hey I don't want to make you mad.

(A guy walks home from work. He runs into his best friend, but his best friend has fancy clothing and a new car)

GUY: Whoa where did you get all this?

FRIEND: You won't believe it. I went across the bridge, and this genie appeared. She gave me a wish for crossing, and now look at me now. I'm a rich man.

GUY: Cool!

(the guy leaves home by crossing the bridge, and a beautiful genie appears)

GENIE: STOP!!! I will not let you pass until I grant you a wish.

GUY: Well hot diggety dog!

(Genie turns the guy into a hotdog)

GENIE: Want some ketchup or mustard with that?

[StargazerLili]

I got a few:

Did you hear the one about the unsharpened pencil?
...never mind, it's pointless

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

What's black and white and black and white and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill