MY FIRST FANFICTION!!!!

[racoonangel]

i want to know what happens next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Astro-Rokku-chan]

Oh, no!! Poor Astro!!! ;-; Please continue, I love this story ^_^

[BlueCore]

Astro was just about to run after her, but he was scared to... He was scared because if he chased Meghan, she might of thought that he was gonna hurt her...

Dr. Tenma ran in "Astro! Are you alright? The systems detected an intruder in the lab." He ran to Astro to make sure he's alright.

" Im fine! B-but I have to go!" He ran out of the lab. He knew that if they thought Meghan was an intruder, they would throw her in the metro city jail.

[Juanita]

This is a very cute story! I'm very picky about fan fictions, especially when they include fan characters. This story, however, is very well written, and the characters are in character! I like how Meghan isn't just some random Mary-Sue who causes Astro to swoon over her. (Swooning is fine it just needs to be handled correctly) Their relationship is far from perfect, and the whole thing (to me) is like a learning experience for Astro. That's what makes it interesting. It's very good for your first fan fiction, and I can't wait to see what's in store for Astro!
The only "critique" I have is to do a quick read through as some of your words got a little jumbled up.

[BlueCore]

This is a very cute story! I'm very picky about fan fictions, especially when they include fan characters. This story, however, is very well written, and the characters are in character! I like how Meghan isn't just some random Mary-Sue who causes Astro to swoon over her. (Swooning is fine it just needs to be handled correctly) Their relationship is far from perfect, and the whole thing (to me) is like a learning experience for Astro. That's what makes it interesting. It's very good for your first fan fiction, and I can't wait to see what's in store for Astro!
The only "critique" I have is to do a quick read through as some of your words got a little jumbled up.

Thanks!! This made me feel all happy inside!

[Juanita]

Aww you're welcome! I'm happy you feel happy!

[racoonangel]

could you please continue I love the storyline

[BlueCore]

Meghan was running as fast as she could
"Hey! Stop her!" She heard, making her have to will to run even faster! She wasn't gonna give up with out a fight, that was for sure.

Astro was trying to catch up to her, but was trapped behind a crowd of scientists and guards also chasing after Meghan.

He had no choice at this point but to fly over them, which was breaking yet another rule. No flying inside. But he didn't care. He need to get her out of here and this was the quickest way.

Astro came up behind meghan and lifted her up. She screamed and hollered and it broke Astros heart to hear her be so afraid of him. But he pushed that all behind and flew out of the ministry of science.

[Juanita]

No! Suspense!

[AprilSeven]

Another cliff hanger fanfiction! Love it! Keep going!